My Grandma Jewell was born on this day 108 years ago. How
different the world was then. She died on my 16th birthday. I’ll
never forget that day or the feelings I had.... shock, sadness and
even a bit of guilt that I had spent so much time prior to my 16th
birthday dreaming of that very day. As if turning 16 would be the
highlight of my entire life.... almost wanting it too much. And then,
when it came, losing her.
Growing up I was blessed to live in the same town as my Grandma. We spent a lot of time together. She made the best peanut butter fudge in the world! She also kept on hand those awful “boil in a bag chicken a’la king” frozen entrees. For some unknown reason, I loved them! And grandma always had them for me. We used to watch Lawrence Welk together - and All M y Children. :) She had wonderful stories of her childhood, and even better, of my Daddy’s childhood. :) She made me an afghan in my favorite color - a sunny yellow. I still have it to this day. She was very special to me - and to the rest of our entire extended family. She taught me how important those family ties are - and I have never forgotten.
5 years ago today I suffered my 2nd lost baby as the result of an ectopic pregnancy. My first ectopic pregnancy had occurred while we still lived in Nashville - even before Jackson was born. I was lucky with that one because I was able to participate in a “test study” for treatment that allowed me to avoid surgery, which provided our only chance to have children at all. There were many tense days as I daily drove myself 20 miles back and forth for treatment, wondering if I would truly be able to avoid surgery.... feeling such devastating heartbreak that I had already lost my baby.
Thursday, February 7, 2008 - 09:56 PM
Growing up I was blessed to live in the same town as my Grandma. We spent a lot of time together. She made the best peanut butter fudge in the world! She also kept on hand those awful “boil in a bag chicken a’la king” frozen entrees. For some unknown reason, I loved them! And grandma always had them for me. We used to watch Lawrence Welk together - and All M y Children. :) She had wonderful stories of her childhood, and even better, of my Daddy’s childhood. :) She made me an afghan in my favorite color - a sunny yellow. I still have it to this day. She was very special to me - and to the rest of our entire extended family. She taught me how important those family ties are - and I have never forgotten.
5 years ago today I suffered my 2nd lost baby as the result of an ectopic pregnancy. My first ectopic pregnancy had occurred while we still lived in Nashville - even before Jackson was born. I was lucky with that one because I was able to participate in a “test study” for treatment that allowed me to avoid surgery, which provided our only chance to have children at all. There were many tense days as I daily drove myself 20 miles back and forth for treatment, wondering if I would truly be able to avoid surgery.... feeling such devastating heartbreak that I had already lost my baby.
But 5 years ago today, things went a bit differently. I had my 2nd
ectopic pregnancy and this one did rupture... sending me to the
hospital and emergency surgery in the middle of the night. I
remember everything so vividly.... being overcome with sadness at
once again, losing my precious baby.... and also being vaguely aware
that people were working very hard to prep me for surgery and
hearing words like “losing blood”, “have to hurry”.
My prayer that night was simple..... “Thank you God, that I am your child and I can rest in the palm of your hand”. I also remember my Grandmother. I had a connection with her that night that I rarely talk about - but that I felt deeply. I remember drawing comfort from memories of my grandmother.... of sensing her almost. It wasn’t until days later that I realized all of this had occurred on her birthday. My grandmother was very special to me - and I am thinking of her, especially today.
2 Comments
Julie
Oh Laura. I'm so sorry. I had no idea you had suffered through two
miscarriages. I'm so sorry. How bittersweet to have one happen on the birth of such an important and loved person in your life. I know how important grandmas
are. You story brings back memories of my own. Thank you for sharing your love and pain Laura.
Thursday, February 7, 2008 - 07:34 PM
jenny
What you wrote brought tears to my eyes. I can relate to so much of what you said about your Grandmother. My Grandmother truly gave me "roots". It is very reassuring to know that someday we will not have to be separated from of our loved ones anymore ...especially those 2 sweet babies waiting for you in Heaven.
My prayer that night was simple..... “Thank you God, that I am your child and I can rest in the palm of your hand”. I also remember my Grandmother. I had a connection with her that night that I rarely talk about - but that I felt deeply. I remember drawing comfort from memories of my grandmother.... of sensing her almost. It wasn’t until days later that I realized all of this had occurred on her birthday. My grandmother was very special to me - and I am thinking of her, especially today.
2 Comments
Julie
Oh Laura. I'm so sorry. I had no idea you had suffered through two
miscarriages. I'm so sorry. How bittersweet to have one happen on the birth of such an important and loved person in your life. I know how important grandmas
are. You story brings back memories of my own. Thank you for sharing your love and pain Laura.
Thursday, February 7, 2008 - 07:34 PM
jenny
What you wrote brought tears to my eyes. I can relate to so much of what you said about your Grandmother. My Grandmother truly gave me "roots". It is very reassuring to know that someday we will not have to be separated from of our loved ones anymore ...especially those 2 sweet babies waiting for you in Heaven.
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